There was a topic on the Internet that caused heated discussion: "What is the most annoying way of communication?"
The most mentioned point is that you always reason.
Many people instinctively think that by explaining the truth and facts, they can correct the other party’s wrong thoughts and behaviors. However, often before the truth is finished, their relationship begins to break down and eventually part in a bad mood.
The more a person likes to reason, the more likely he is to be disgusted by the other party and suffers losses.
A truly smart person never is a good teacher and a good person.
The lower the emotional intelligence, the more you like to reason, the more difficult it is to be welcomed by others.
People who like to educate others, but they don’t educate others well.
People's self-esteem is disgusted with hearing the great truth, because everyone understands the truth, and what is really difficult to achieve is how to use wisdom to express the truth silently, which can be accepted by people.
Those who start to show off their heads and make a big mistake will not only not give the other party enough respect, but will also hurt each other's feelings because of their "rampant".
The most useless way of education is to be merciless, reasoning and losing your temper regardless of the occasion. Even if a person like
stands on the most powerful reason, he will instantly lose people's hearts.
Just as educator Rousseau said:
"The most useless way of education in the world is to lose temper, reason and be moved by oneself."
Compared to preaching, if a person knows how to deal with problems based on respecting the other person's self-esteem, using mutual understanding as the principle, and adopting the attitude of teaching by example, in this way, he can capture and win the hearts step by step.
In the end, we can achieve the purpose of education under the premise of subtle influence.
The most efficient and meaningful way of education is to make people willingly accept your ideas, principles and opinions in a calm manner.
On the contrary, if you take out straightforward preaching forms to educate others in a shallow and rude way, it will only go against your wishes.
The most ineffective and incompetent effort is to reason indiscriminately.
Many people are simply nonsense when it comes to reasoning. What's more, the reason why they like to reason is that they can't control their mouths.
In life, keeping your mouth in mind and thinking for a minute before speaking is enough to make a person become more and more mature.
On the contrary, how can a person who cannot control his mouth and always likes to talk about big principles conquer people's hearts?
Ask yourself, you are forcibly preaching the truth to the other party. If you say it to yourself, what kind of thoughts and mood will you have after hearing and seeing this tone, tone, expression, and movement?
psychologist Marshall once mentioned a point of view:
"When language tends to ignore people's feelings and needs, so that they are alienated and hurt each other, this way of communication will make it difficult to understand the love in their hearts."
People's hearts are fleshy. If you listen to the truth and accept it as soon as you hear it, there will be no contradictions and frictions at all.
It is precisely because everyone is unique and has different personalities, so if you forcefully make sense, everyone's reactions will be different. The difference between
just shows the diversity of human creativity and mind.
also shows that people with different personalities often go to different areas of success, rather than relying on principles to allow everyone to live a boring life according to someone's standards.
succeeds, because of its diversity, human life becomes colorful.
Just as Carnegie once said:
"If there is a trick to success, the trick is to understand the position of others and be able to take into account both one's own and others' positions.”
People with high emotional intelligence will not express their opinions repeatedly. People who are truly capable will never convince others with reason. Instead, they speak with their strength and rely on their charm to convince others.
So, don’t let yourself suffer continuous losses in life because you like to reason.
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