Author: Mo Xiaobei
01: Introduction
Have you noticed that today we often have such "wrong perceptions":
When we were young, we felt that our parents were all their own, and it seemed that they could provide good support for themselves in anything they did; but when they grew up, they found that their parents seemed to be the most incompetent in the world.
Because their incompetence brings us pain, no money, no good life, the root of all this seems to be because of them.
and even, some people have this idea: It would be great if they could be born in the family of rich people, and they would not have to live a life like bitter coffee now.
At this moment, our attitude towards our parents changed, and we began to feel that they were burdensome and didn’t even want to have any relationship with them.
Parents seem to have seen through our thoughts and began to become "indifferent". If they can not trouble us, they will not bother us. If they can keep a distance from us, they will keep a distance. The relationship between them seems to be familiar strangers.
We complain that our parents are too selfish. They obviously have no ability, but they still want to escape. But is this the truth? Actually, it's not.
Because behind our parents' "indifference" are all caused by us as children.
02: Behind the parents' "indifference" is actually helpless
Why do parents become more and more heartless as they get older?
In fact, you just see the surface, but not the essence. If possible, they also want to be with you and enjoy family happiness.
In this world, how can parents not want to revolve around their children?
But, have you given them this opportunity?
In other words, do they have this opportunity?
It is precisely because they see that you are struggling with your financial difficulties and that they really see that you are being suppressed by mortgages, car loans, and life, so they choose to escape.
They don’t want to be with you, but they are afraid of becoming a burden to you. Their ideas are very simple, and you may be more relaxed if you leave you.
Tell me a story around me.
If I hadn't heard from my uncle, my friend Xiao Zhou still misunderstood his parents.
This is the thing. Last year, Xiao Zhou's wife was pregnant with her second child, and she still had to make money to support her family every day, so she couldn't take care of her wife.
So, Xiao Zhou wanted his parents to help, but his parents refused.
In fact, they still want to help in their hearts, but Xiao Zhou’s house is too small, with only one bedroom.
was originally built from the countryside. It is not easy to buy a one-bedroom apartment in a big city. Usually, Xiao Zhou's parents went to see him, and they basically went there on the same day and went back the same day because they couldn't live in the house.
Once before, two old people went to the city for medical treatment. One of the test results would take the next day to get, so they lived in Xiao Zhou's house.
However, when Xiao Zhou's mother got up at night, she heard Xiao Zhou's wife complaining that the house was too small and that Xiao Zhou did not arrange for her parents to stay in a hotel.
After hearing this, Xiao Zhou's mother felt very uncomfortable. She was not blaming her daughter-in-law for being unfilial, but for blaming herself and her husband for being incompetent and not being able to buy a bigger house for her son.
On weekdays, the daughter-in-law is quite filial. Every time she goes back to her hometown to visit them, she always takes home with her lots of land and often tells them not to spend the living expenses she gives them.
But real life is cruel, especially the epidemic in the past two years has put more and more pressure on many people. Originally, Xiao Zhou planned to exchange for a larger house in three or four years, but the arrival of the epidemic has caused his salary to shrink repeatedly.
In fact, it was precisely because of seeing these difficulties that Xiao Zhou's parents never stayed at Xiao Zhou's house again.
This time, refusing to take care of the daughter-in-law who is pregnant with the second child is not because they don’t want it, but because they think that after they come, not only will it become a problem for living, but it may even help you.
The house is too small, Xiao Zhou's father is still addicted to smoking. If he goes there, many problems will definitely arise. If he causes an uncontrollable mess, he will never be able to live that life.
But Xiao Zhou hung up the phone without waiting for his parents to explain. He felt that his parents didn't come to help, but he just didn't understand him. He even resented his parents in his heart and blamed them for being incompetent.
Later, my uncle came to visit my home. When they talked about this topic, Xiao Zhou still complained that his parents would not come. When he finished speaking, my uncle answered.
Uncle asked him, "Do you know why they didn't come?"
Xiao Zhou said, "There is no reason, but I just don't want to come. They just want to be quiet at home."
After hearing Xiao Zhou's words, my uncle said angrily:
"You really don't understand their good intentions. They are not doing this because of you. The house is so small, where do they live? You have mortgages and car loans here, they all farm at home, no If you have a retirement salary, don’t you have to ask for money when you come to eat, drink and spend?
Besides, your wife doesn’t work, so you can take care of yourself.
In fact, considering the hard work of getting up early and working late every day, they are also very distressed. They refuse to come to help you. The other reason is that they want to work in the factory in the village, make some money, and save to change you to a big house. ”
Hearing this, Xiao Zhou cried, it turned out that he misunderstood his parents.
It turns out that from the beginning, parents were considering themselves. In order to make themselves live a better life, they would rather be more affectionate, but who knows the pain in their hearts?
You must know at any time: the love our parents have for us is the only one.
It is like a saying:
"The person who loves me the most in the world is not others, only parents; the person who hopes me to be good the most, only parents are the ones who can't stand my suffering."
Parents are a wall between us and the god of death. With parents here, we are not afraid of anything. Once parents go, we will face death directly, and there will be no one to shelter us from the wind and rain.
So, if you feel that your parents are becoming more and more "indifferent", don't complain or blame them first. You first look for your own problems and see if you misunderstand them.
You must know that there is no parent in the world who is unwilling to be with your children!
03: Treat your parents well and love them well
I don’t rule out that some people are not worthy of being parents, but in this world, most parents are qualified.
They devote almost all their love to their children. As long as the children live well, they really don’t care.
They can wear the worst and eat the worst, but children must eat the best and wear the best.
This is the love our parents have for us; this is the only love in the world that has no selfishness and does not demand return.
However, many times we misunderstand. They are still working hard to carry the burden for us, but we don’t understand. This is really sad.
There are many things to wait for in this world, but love for parents cannot be waited for.
So, while they are all alive, love them hard, because once you lose it, you will never have a chance again.
For children, never let the tragedy of "children want to support but parents are not waiting for" happen, and never treat parents as burdens.
Parents have given everything for us. Although we cannot give everything for them, we can give more because they are the people we should repay in this world.
No one of us owes us in our lives, we only owe our parents.
The love our parents have for us is hard to repay even if we spend our whole life.
Perhaps in modern society, parents can’t keep up with the pace. At this time, you need more patience, because he can’t find anyone to help you understand the world except you.
The greatest filial piety for children is that they will not let their parents live carefully in front of them, which will make them live happily.
promised me to squeeze out more time and spend some time with them.
If there is a grudge between you, you might as well try to be patient and communicate with them. Maybe the grudge between you is a misunderstanding?
04: Written at the end
I saw a sentence on the Internet, and I felt particularly resonant in my heart:
"As children, please don't let parents who have worked hard all their lives grow old, no one cares for them, and live a wronged life."
When we were born, our parents gave us the greatest patience and deepest love. When they are old, what we have to do should be the same feedback.
Life is short, I hope we can all understand the painstaking efforts of our parents, and while they are still here, be filial to them, so that we can be together in this life. Isn't it
?
Author introduction:
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