You don’t have to worry about your studies, and you don’t have to worry about your body. You seem to have been rushing to make time pass by since you were born. Before I could grow up to be a mother, you have already grown up.

——Written to my dear Miss Fang

I didn’t sleep well last night, and I woke up intermittently and felt an occasional thrust in my heart. The pain of that midnight 25 years ago has actually become numb in my memory.

God gave me a fairy daughter, but I don’t want to remember the new life after the pain that night. Because if time came back, I would probably give up on you, and this feeling became stronger and stronger in the days that followed. Forgive me, it’s not that I have no choice, it’s that I never want to choose again.

How did you grow up day by day? Can I say I really don’t have any memories? You don’t have to worry about your studies, and you don’t have to worry about your body. You seem to have been rushing to make time pass by since you were born. Before I could grow up to be a mother, you have already grown up.

I have never held a parent-teacher meeting and have never given you any tutoring for your studies. To be precise, your parents are alive, but they are as strong and powerful as an orphan. By the time I wanted to love you, you had already been thousands of miles away from the exam.

In this world, I don’t owe anyone, I only owe you. I was weak when you were young, and I was soft when you were harmonious in the world. I should have been so strong that you have grandpa, grandma, grandma, grandma, a wise father, and all the relatives who love you.

But for a long time, you had nothing but a wild childhood.

All the sufferings in life cannot make a mother forget her love, but for many years, I have not known how to express my love for you, but I have honestly kept all the hardships and sadness in front of you.

How should I thank you, you have been taller than me, stronger than me, and better than me, and then let me live to this day without hesitation.

I like traveling, so I am willing to take you around to travel. Because I believe that reading thousands of books is worse than traveling thousands of miles.

I am very pleased that you like to read quietly, and I am also very envious of you for being able to record all the beauty with the lens. However, you are too restrained and become an introvert who is out of place with your peers.

Do you know, I am very afraid of reading your text. In your text, there is a kind of gloom of a boy and the haggardness of going through hardships. You are so bright, you should have many thoughts. And you, there is nothing, one person is happy, one person is sad, one person writes and draws, and one person reads books and puzzles.

Your freedom alone is like a sword, piercing into my heart that is eager to speak but stops.

I especially want to have a boy who can get close to your life, travel with you, eat the food you make, appreciate your photography, and comment on your paintings and your words.

But you told me: Since you can't add icing on the cake, why bother to humiliate yourself? I opened my mouth, so clumsy that I don’t know how to tell you: love is the joy of one person and the loneliness of two people. How can you know that the loneliness of two people can only taste the world's flavors if you don't try it?

But I won’t urge you, just be happy. In your life, I will work hard to spend the longest time with you, try to leave you a house, and I will also work hard to leave you some spare money and rice. I know you disdain these stinky smells and don’t look down on these three or five pieces of silver, but this is the only thought I give you. What if you need it?

When people are in the most difficult times, perhaps the ones that are in a difficult situation are really three meals a day for a period of time. When you think you are experiencing the most difficult things in the world, you must remember to go home, have a house to live in, have food to eat, and have money to spend. Because there is, I love .

Because I love, you must be happy.

I am as old as you, you have already entered kindergarten. But I still call you Bao, treating you as that little meat ball.

You went from all the way north and finally went to South . I hope that city will tolerate your dreams and youth as it is tolerant of all young people.

I am also hesitant and hesitant about where you go.Because I don’t know which is the best for you, and I can’t make any suggestions. I can do nothing about your future.

Especially when I saw your childhood friend go to the company she wanted to go to because of the favor of her parents, I felt extremely ashamed in my heart. This is her third time in love, and it is better than the spring breeze. However, you are so simple and pure, so hardworking and motivated, but you are always like a migrant worker's child, weak and stubborn, wanting to be a different self.

In addition to self-blame, I don’t envy you, but I also want to give you the best. Although I am shy and tell you what I can’t realize.

I am very happy that you can cook and like to turn all kinds of ingredients into what you want to eat. At least I don't worry about you losing weight, of course, you've never lived. However, taking good care of yourself is not just like this. The world is sinister and people’s hearts are unpredictable. If you want to take good care of yourself, you must also learn to distinguish between good and evil and protect yourself.

It is impossible for a person to have all goodness in his life. If one day life deceives you, don’t be sad for too long. Walking past is a sky ahead. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next year, everything will be fine. What people call strength is that it is made of steel after hundreds of times. It is bitter and sweet, and life is life.

I like a casual life, with freedom like wind. But if you need me, don’t consider my feelings. If you must feel embarrassed, then, in the next life, you will be a mother and I will be a daughter. We will use the cycle of reincarnation in our past and present lives to not owe each other.

If I get old, I will go to the nursing home in advance, and I refuse to become a burden to you. When I need to intubate all over my body, unplug it and give me some dignity and decency in front of you.

If one day I suddenly leave, you don’t have time to send me off, it doesn’t matter. As long as you have time to crush my bones and ashes and throw them into the sea, mountains, and rivers. Don’t be sad, not just you and me, but everything in the world will come and go and disappear.

Look, today is a happy day. I feel like I am worried and reminded, and I feel like I am giving a long sigh of relief. You have finally grown up and have a support. You have to be like an adult, listen to my slightest saying, "The clouds and the moon are three thousand miles away, and I am in the deep mountains of Bashan, on the cold night of early winter, beside the fire in the forest, I miss you and miss you."

The mountains and fields are quiet, chrysanthemum tea fragrance, my slowness never shows good, all my thoughts are happy in the world and wish you a happy life.

Happy birthday.