There is a little beast in everyone's heart. Because it has swallowed too much confusion, confusion, grievance and pain, it is pressed into the secluded residence in the depths of the rivers and seas, and is dormant all year round. When memories pass through the corridor of time

There is a little beast in everyone's heart. Because it has swallowed too much confusion, confusion, grievance and pain, it is pressed into the secluded residence in the depths of the rivers and seas, and is dormant all year round. When memories pass through the corridor of time and knock on the door, those scenes related to emotions will surface one by one, becoming shining pearls on the chain of life, transparent and clear. If life is a book, then five years old will naturally occupy the title page. It is the most primitive record that a person can recall, carved with the worries and happiness of growth, and the childish innocence and selfishness. I like to explore and possess.

has instinctive curiosity and attention to everything, but does not like the sudden intrusion into strangers of their own territory, even if they are younger brothers or sisters with deep blood. When that little life snatched away the mother's love and care from his own hands, Xiao Xiao felt indescribable loss and jealousy. Even if the little guy who called her sister repeatedly showed kindness with innocent eyes, he still couldn't eliminate the innate jealousy.

It was from that moment that she understood that there was another name for maternal love called division, and she also had a role called tolerance, although this enlightenment came so reluctantly and helplessly. With my talent, it is difficult to understand the mystery even after spending my whole life. I know that since I entered the sea of ​​learning, the oar in my hand has never stopped. In Momo Shushan, I am the pilgrim who is ascetic, with self-abuse courage and vague jealousy. Yes, it's jealousy. It has accompanied me for more than ten years of my study.

When I was in elementary school, I was jealous of those children with wealthy families and well-dressed clothes. I didn’t have to worry about three meals a day, I didn’t have to be embarrassed about paying late tuition fees, and I didn’t have to be ashamed of wearing a shabby white shirt that adults changed to small children during group activities. When I was in middle school, I was jealous of those princesses who were always held in their eyes by boys. Their snow-skinned appearance and their fashion trends have become a reference and reflection for me to feel ashamed; in the technical secondary school, although my mind gradually matures, the future and destiny have become a new round of hidden worries and troubles. I am afraid that I am too mediocre, I am afraid that I cannot distribute it as I wish, and I am afraid that the boy I have always been in love with will be trapped by the gentleness of others. I worry about gains and losses, and can't sleep day and night, fantasizing that one day I can get out of the sea of ​​trouble, and that my son-in-law will be here, and that the flowers will bloom and the wealth will be prosperous, so I should be quiet and peaceful.

Other people's jealousy will give rise to the hostility and hatred of the mouth, while my jealousy will burst out of the surging bloodline and turn into the tension and motivation for studying hard. In those years, my only purpose of living was to study, and I could sacrifice my great youth and all the joys of life. The jealous earth fire burned in my paranoid heart, and my youth was burned beyond recognition and fragmentation. I suddenly entered the clouds and went to hell in this almost autistic pursuit. The beauty of life is gone, and I am eating and drinking and drinking dew on the road to success.

echoes the boredom of youth, and my standing at my thirty is still bleak and vague. The family that cannot see the future and the constraints of left and right have turned me from a warm girl to a war woman in the boudoir. With my successive disappointment with my economic life and work unit, I grind myself into a spear of good fighting courage, challenging my destiny and poverty fiercely and tenaciously. When you are thirsty and hungry, listen to the wind and drink the snow; when you are sleepy and tired, you are heartbroken. Don’t dare to slack off, can’t take a break, and even the tears that are too heavy to bear have become a luxury comfort. Life has slowed down on me, and at the same time taught me: no matter when and where, we cannot compromise or give up.

Over the years, I have been holding my breath and not bowing to fate. It was like a mass of magma that was ready to go blocking my chest, making me restless and restless. In the first forty years of life, I have always changed struggle and struggle into the main colors of life, so that the drawing board of life is covered with raw, cold and hard lines.The pressure of time and the tempering of life have made me alienated from peace and tranquility. I ran desperately between gains and losses and profits until I was exhausted... While I was breathing, I saw myself in the dressing mirror I placed. The profound nasolabial folds and Sichuan character pattern made me look so ferocious and haggard.

I am the injured old wolf, so I let out a long whistle to the deep night sky. Roaring, roaring, the long-lost warmth flowed out in my eyes, which was the fusion of blood and water. How long has it been since I cried? This innate instinct, it is a century away from me. Now I finally have the ability to release again. What I have returned together are the family affection and the nature of simplicity and simplicity and simplicity and compassion.

One day after crossing the threshold of forty years old, when my self-consciousness awakened again, I simply packed and sealed my past one by one, sinking into the silent deep sea without saying goodbye or mourning. If you have a heart, you can feel: the fragrance of flowers, the green grass, the singing of birds, and the beauty of human nature. As long as you connect the soul with your soul, and exchange your sincerity for your sincerity.