Whether it is roses or small flowers and grass, everyone has their own stage. In other words, there is actually no fixed answer to the question of "how to become a capable and excellent person", but as Lu Xun said, "No satisfaction is the wheel of upward". We know that we are lim

Text/Mu Ying Gongzi

Facing the word "capable", thousands of people have thousands of opinions. Some people think that "all family is harmonious and everything is prosperous" is a kind of ability, some people think that "standing in the spotlight" is a kind of ability, and some people think that "to be at the extreme in their own field" is a kind of ability, each has its own life, each has its own single-plank bridge, and each has its own brilliance and blueprint.

Whether it is roses or small flowers and grass, everyone has their own stage. In other words, there is actually no fixed answer to the question of "how to become a capable and excellent person", but as Lu Xun said, "No satisfaction is the wheel of upward", we know that we are limited, but we still do not miss any possibility of "upward".

What kind of people are really capable? In fact, if you observe it, you will find that they all have some commonalities, and these nine words can be represented.

1: Accumulating steps

Xunzi wrote in "Encouraging Learning": "Therefore, without accumulating small steps, you cannot reach a thousand miles; without accumulating small streams, you cannot form a river." This sentence means that if you do things, you will never be able to achieve your goal.

The so-called "capable" is actually the general term for the hard power of knowledge, connections and reputation, and money status. The more valuable and meaningful things are, the longer it will take. You need to accumulate strength and temper your mind and will, and then you need to wait in a long time, so strong that you can patiently wait until the day of success.

Miyuki Miyuki once said: "Youth and naivety both cause the same weakness: lack of patience. No matter what you do, you want to see the result immediately. Life is a series of waiting. Such lessons often only need to be experienced in middle age. Realizing that this lesson is truly insightful, it often takes all the rest of your life."

The common disadvantages of modern people are that they are too eager, eager to have a glorious degree, instant knowledge, want to be full of energy, and want to shine. But after countless practices, they understand that it turns out that being too eager will only lose, and they really can't become a fat man.

People who are truly capable will understand this truth earlier than ordinary people, so they put in the same effort, but are willing to hand over this seed to the long loneliness and dull time, and endure the ever-extending timeline until it blooms and bears the fruit.

Days are about walking day by day, and books are also about reading page by page. If there are really shortcuts that can help us become "savvy people", then the fastest one is to slow down and accumulate small steps.

2: Knowing self-restraint

The so-called "self-restraint" refers to restraining and restraining and strictly demanding oneself. The self-restraint of the ancients mostly refers to morality, benevolence and righteousness, while the self-restraint of contemporary people mostly refers to the control of desires.

Kazuo Inamori once said, "In fact, desire itself is not a sin. It is a sin to do whatever you want by relying on desire without restraint and doing whatever you want." When it comes to the word desire, most people's first reaction is to "let go" and "quit", but "let go of desire" is actually a kind of desire. Therefore, in life, controlling desire is not equivalent to a one-size-fits-all solution. Desire is a human instinctive need and a basic reaction. What we need to do is not to ignore it or use science to regulate it. The so-called control is just to make it positive.

has a very good saying, "What kind of desires do you have, you will become what kind of person you will become." In other words, where your excitement is, the focus of your life is, what kind of talents you will have. The stronger a person's desires, the greater the probability of success, and the more wonderful life will be - yes, desires also have a positive effect.

Desire is not the source of all evil. What causes people to go to the abyss and fall into depravity is not the desire itself, but the inability to actively turn desires and confuse desires with desires.

What is desire? It is to satisfy one's timely happiness as you wish, such as eating, drinking, playing, and having fun, and shopping, staying up late, and staying in bed. The most fundamental difference between desire and desire lies in the length of the happiness period.

Desire satisfys short-term happiness, while desire will support a person to continue to move towards his goal. Although there are thorns and loneliness on the way, all negative emotions are not as good as the moment when desire is satisfied.

Socrates once said, "Contentment is natural wealth, and desire is artificial poverty."

Life is a process of removing the drought and retaining the essence. Thoughts are added and desires are subtracted. People who are truly capable can face their own desires, distinguish the difference between desires and desires, and then fish for big fishes on a long line. Big fish is desire, and the process of "letting go long lines" is not worth mentioning at all.

3: Be cautious and believe

"Be cautious and believe" comes from " Xueersong " in "The Analects of Confucius". It means that words and deeds should be cautious, honest and trustworthy. In today's words, it means that you don't talk much, but although you are less, you are "sophisticated". The "sophisticated" here does not refer to the smooth language of dealing with people, but refers to the weight of words.

When it comes to the power of words, many people will think of the sentence "A good word warms up in three winters, and a bad word hurts people cold in six months." This sentence is actually about the moral evaluation of "verbal", and what really concerns "power" is the degree of completion of "verbal" fulfillment, which we can call it "commitment".

Commitment has always been a very serious word. It is based on a person's personality and image. It is an invisible rule that can restrain the behavior of the person. However, with the prevalence of fast food culture today, commitment has gradually been shelved by people, and it has new labels, such as " painting big cake ", such as "jokes" - people are always promising things they can't do.

年后客 said: "A gentleman is ashamed of his words but goes beyond his actions." The meaning of this sentence is that a gentleman will think that it is shameful if what he says exceeds what he does. However, modern people have a complete and paradoxical understanding of this: this is the choice of a gentleman. I never claim to be a gentleman, so I don’t have to use “consistent words and deeds” to restrain myself. Some even turn around and mock those who fulfill their promises.

The theory appears to have many practitioners. They shouted the slogan "If you don't care for yourself, heaven will be punished by the earth", believing that people who are consistent in their words and deeds only existed in ancient times, but when they became the promised party, they hoped that the other party would do what they said.

The funniest thing about this is that everyone wants others to be gentlemen, but they don’t want themselves to be gentlemen.

The real ability is the opposite. They order themselves to become gentlemen, but never demand each other with this. So they gain sarcasm, shame from others' conscience, and respect and trust.

Flying with a phoenix must be a handsome bird; walking with a tiger and wolf must be a fierce beast. If you want to walk with an excellent person, you must first become an excellent person, rather than standing at the foot of the mountain to contempt and despise those who work hard to reach the top.

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