It is not easy to find a person with the same frequency. Changing the thinking and "same frequency" between each other is also a kind of ability that can be developed acquired.
What is important is not "finding", but building yourself into someone who can "same frequency" with others.
Xiao A and Xiao B were originally two people with completely different personalities and tempers. When they first got together, they often quarreled over various trivial matters and had a very unpleasant quarrel.
Gradually, they seemed to have discovered their own problems and wanted to solve them. After some reflection and communication, they found that the root of the contradiction is not how unbearable the shortcomings of the two people are, but that they each lack the "ability to be happy", so they will seek compensation from the place over and over again.
In the purpose of solving the problem, both parties began to try to change, and tried their best to adjust their "frequency" to match each other's rhythm; when each other has the energy of happiness, they can give each other a feeling of happiness, and happiness finally begins to favor them.
It can be seen from this that happiness is a ability and also a ability that can be "trained". When you have the ability to be happy, happiness will continue to approach you.
At this moment, open the "Happiness Password" and reap the happiness journey that belongs to you~
01 Close up wanting to change the other person's psychology, start with "changing yourself"
There are no perfect people in the world, and there is no perfect relationship. Good relationships complement each other and achieve each other.
Get along with the people around you. If you want to have a harmonious relationship with each other, the first prerequisite is not to try to change the person in front of you, and do not use the self-standard and sense of accomplishment of "for his good" to "kill " person.
You can start by "changing yourself" and guide him (her) through your own behavior.
When you can bring to the other person, it is positive energy, the environment you create can bring to the other person is a sense of comfort and relaxation, and changes will happen naturally.
02 Change "What did the other party do for me" to "What can I do for the other party"
Any relationship, if both parties only think about the problem from the perspective of "self-interest", it is easy to have conflicts.
Good relationships are all "altruistic". If you have the kindness and self-consciousness to think about the other party, you will also receive a positive feedback, that is, the kindness and cherishment of the other party.
No one party should give for granted for granted, and the other party should enjoy it for granted.
Do this, you will have a long-lasting company.
03 Understand the other person as you understand yourself and be a sincere listener
In fact, it is to think from the perspective of others. When you can't understand the other person, try to find the answer from yourself.
If something goes wrong with yourself in a certain link, how will you comfort yourself and understand yourself? In what way will it be easier to convince yourself? Then treat the person in front of you in the same way.
In this way, you will find that the difficulty lies in that when encountering problems, people will find excuses for themselves, but when facing people other than themselves, they will become harsh. And this doesn't seem fair.
understanding is not easy to happen, but you can try to change a little bit first.
Sometimes, when the other party encounters a problem or trouble, you don’t even have to do anything, just listen quietly and be a sincere listener, it is enough.
We often say " is strict with oneself and , and is lenient to others. In fact, most of the time, people tend to do the opposite and ask others to be more than themselves.
A positive relationship still needs to start from oneself.
When you have felt the feeling of being understood, you will understand that in fact, everyone desires to be understood. Is it that important thing, are you willing to be the one who understands the other person?
After all, this is also a kind of tempering of mentality and sublimation of pattern.
When understanding happens once, it will definitely happen again. You are in a state of continuous growth.
04 Cherish the time you spend together and become the person who makes the other person feel at ease
Understand that life is limited, life is short, and life is impermanent, and you will be more kind and tolerant of this world.
Especially for those who are in front of you, what kind of fate will come together? Since you are together, cherish the arrangement of fate.
always thought that the best partner is not how good-looking, how big the power, how much wealth he has, and how good he can say good things, but makes the other party feel at . Yes, this is something that is hard to come by.
You know each other and trust each other, and will not be swayed due to external factors.
You know that there is such a person who has an important connection with you, and you will be willing to wait, and feel at ease and at ease because of the existence of this person.
And the other person's feelings are also as you feel.
No matter how many detours you have taken, how many walls you hit, or how much blows you have suffered, the more you will feel grateful for the ordinary and trivial beauty and preciousness.
In a small town, it has its own nest and is accompanied by family.
has some interests and love life; has not been grand enough to do what you like; it is not very exciting, but there are love and warmth for three meals and four seasons; it may not be rich, but life is stable and orderly.
There is freedom to wander, stability and stability.
No matter what stage of life is, experience will make you understand that there is no unworthy past in life, and inner self-improvement is very important.
The effort is not something missing, but it is always pushing your growth.
"Those who love comes out will love come back; those who go blessings will come will bring blessings."
In a relationship, you always need to think about: What value can I give to the other party, whether it is material value or emotional value, those who can give are people who are inherently complete and are more likely to perceive happiness.
Frankly, I am a person with relatively scarce material conditions, so I try my best to enrich my spiritual world and constantly reflect and improve my soul.
When I can provide others with certain "emotional value" (for example, I have a certain ability to " empathize with ", very willing to listen and understand, have the ability to calm the other party, etc.), I am actually "rich".
or above is also an insight summarized through your own personal experience. It’s not a “golden rule”. I just hope that no one will repeat the same mistakes as the detours I have taken.
I hope more people can have the ability to be happy and live in happiness.
This book "The Ability of Happiness" published by Tsinghua University Press has given me direction and guidance, and has taken me out of my own limitations and the ability to regain happiness.
book mentions, "Where is happiness? Everyone is looking for happiness outside, but they don't know that the source of happiness is in their hearts."
Picture: from the Internet/Infringement and delete
Author: Yilu Notes | A late-minded actionist, reading, writing, growing, and walking non-stop on the road~
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