The book " The Summer Solstice Has Not Yet " says:
"When we were young, we always thought that our parents were invincible. It was not until we saw their helplessness that we realized that it was because of love that they were willing to play heroes."
This sentence , I didn’t know what it meant when I first heard it, but when I think about it carefully, I feel a little sad.
As time goes by, my parents’ hair turns gray and wrinkles deepen over time. As they grow older, they also change from strong to soft.
Sometimes, just a few casual words are enough to make us burst into tears. Because it is full of thoughts, cares and longing.
01
Have I embarrassed you?
Self-media creator Qiu Qiyu once shared his experience in a video:
Once, he and his father went out to eat. While he was replying to messages, his father mistook the condiments served by the waiter as dishes.
My father finished the condiments carefully, but he didn’t touch the food at all.
This action was seen by the waiter who came to serve the food, and he kindly reminded him that this scene happened to be seen by Qiu Qiyu who was returning to his seat. His father was so embarrassed that his face turned red. Qiu Qiyu immediately came to the rescue and told the waiter that it was his father's humor.
I thought this episode was over, but unexpectedly, my father embarrassedly said to him on the way home: "I'm sorry for embarrassing you."
After watching this video, my eyes instantly became wet.
My parents were once high-spirited teenagers, but when they were old, they were afraid that their "ignorance" would cause their children to lose their dignity.
In life, we may have encountered such a moment:
When traveling with his father, the father heard others talking and wanted to speak, but he was afraid that he would say the wrong thing and embarrass the child, so he kept silent. Yan;
When I went shopping with my mother, my mother didn’t dare to ask about new things when she saw them, for fear that asking would appear uneducated and lose the child’s face...
Think about it, why were we not afraid of saying or doing the wrong things when we were children? It is because we know that our parents will tolerate us infinitely. But now, on the other hand, our parents have to carefully watch our faces and act, worrying that they are not good enough and will be embarrassed and held back.
Some people say: "The sign of parents getting old is that they start to listen to us and leave everything to us."
Yes, this world is like a reincarnation. Our parents grow up with us, and then become children again.
When parents say the words "Am I embarrassing you?" It is not only that they are not confident in themselves, but if we think about it carefully, this sentence also sounds the alarm for us to reflect on how we have made our parents lose their confidence little by little. gained confidence.
Never let your parents feel useless, because 30 years ago, they were also our heroes. Even if we are now taller than our parents' shoulders, we should not let them only look up to our eyes.
02
Can you help me get it?
At 11 o'clock last night, my best friend called me and cried very loudly.
While comforting me, I asked her what happened. She told me with a tearful voice: "I must have hurt my mother's heart before, so she became as polite as me."
That day, after dinner, my best friend was busy revising the copy. I saw my mother walking around the living room several times, and then she couldn't help but ask: "Mom, are you okay?"
At this time, the mother hesitantly sat next to her best friend and asked: "Can you help mom take a look?" How to make this order? "
My best friend thought that my mother was trying to gain some advantage, so she said impatiently: "Didn't you see that I'm busy? Wait a while, if you can't contact me, then leave."
My mother said, "It's okay, you're busy" and got up. Went back to the bedroom.
When my best friend remembered it in the evening and asked her mother if she had refunded the order, my father told her: "Your mother saw that you have been looking bad recently, so she bought you some nutritional supplements. She was anxious for you to take them. I want to ask the customer service if they have any." What can be done to speed up..."
After hearing what her father said, her best friend turned around and ran to the bathroom. Her tears couldn't stop flowing, and she mentally scolded herself as a bastard countless times.
After I calmed down, my best friend said to me: "If our parents are getting more and more humble, we must have done something wrong."
When caring is annoying, when helping is misunderstood, the times are too many, and parents don’t know how to communicate with us. When you get along, you become sensitive and cautious.
Then, they try to find a little gap of their own in our world, and carefully "disturb" it, for fear of causing trouble and offending the children.
Think about it, why when we were children, we could ask questions to our parents over and over again, and we didn’t feel guilty about disturbing them again and again. But now, why can't parents trouble us like this?
The reason is that as children, we failed to give our parents enough sense of security.
Many times, we treat our parents with impatience, and then our parents become cautious and timid due to this impatience.
Think about how our parents treated us when we were children, and then treat them ten times or even a hundred times, so that they are no longer afraid of disturbing us and let them know that for them, their children are always free. Is
03
really not coming back?
On New Year’s Eve last year, what was different from usual was that there was an extra person at my family’s New Year’s Eve dinner table—Aunt Wang, our neighbor for decades.
She was sitting at the corner of dining table . In the lively atmosphere of reunion, her eyes showed loneliness and loneliness.
Because Aunt Wang’s son is working as a director in Beijing, and she happens to be in a hurry to finish the movie, she can only spend this year alone. We asked her why she didn't go to her son's place, and she whispered: "I'm used to being alone, and it's even more disturbing if I go there."
Many times, in parents' minds, their home is their child's home, and their child's home is just their child's home. 's home. Therefore, 365 days a year, they almost look forward to their child's return.
My mother, hundreds of kilometers away, struggled to make calls many times, but she always hung up in a hurry after saying a few words. Many years later, as children, we understood the heavy thoughts behind this.
The sentence "Are you really not coming back? " makes them so sad because they don't know when you will come back next time.
I once heard this saying: "Parents are the only audience for their children in the first half of their lives, and children are the only audience for their parents in the second half of their lives."
Decades of changes have allowed us to swap roles. For parents, that kind of loneliness and not being needed is like a pain in the heart. Although they don't say it, they never move away.
So, no matter how busy we are and how many things and relationships we have to deal with, we must remember to set aside some time for our parents. Don't let your parents become left-behind old people, and don't let your bustling home turn into a lonely, empty nest.
You must know that there is no way to get back those lost companionships.
We were all lucky enough to think that the future would be long, but unfortunately, time is approaching step by step. No one can withstand aging, and no one can beat time.
Please remember to give your parents the most practical and real companionship in the limited time, cherish it and leave no regrets.
04 Conclusion
On Father's Day , I wrote this sentence in the circle of friends:
"I can't find a word to describe the love of parents, because it is full of rivers and lakes. If I want to give a kind of love back to you, That is, I hope you love yourself as much as you love me. "
No matter when and where we are, our parents are always the ones who care about us the most.Therefore, they will care about whether they disturb you, but they will always think about you.
Time passes, and no one has the ability to press the pause button.
What we can do is to accompany them more and alienate them less; understand them more and complain less; express love more and embrace them more.
May the years be gentle and leave time for us to wait.
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