01 The communication window is not the curse of knowledge
Don’t attribute things is too strong in nature, it is the source of freedom. Observation without comment is the highest form of human intelligence. Bernard Shaw said that the biggest problem with communication is that some people think that the communication has been passed. So many times it is not people torturing people, but communication barriers torturing people.
What we understand may not be what the other party really wants to express, and what we are expressing may not necessarily be what the other party wants to understand. Thinking unilaterally and looking at the surface, the conclusions reached are not objective and may be wrong. Only when you look at the problem from multiple angles, combine all aspects, and analyze the overall image of things, can you recognize the true face of things.
Many times we think we have expressed it very clearly, but the other party just can't understand it. This is closely related to everyone's ability to express and understand. To establish effective communication with others, we need to understand the communication window.
Communication window, the first is that you know it, the second is that you don't know, the third is that others know, and the fourth is that others don't know, you know that others also know it is called the open quadrant, such as celebrities, Jack Ma, etc.
I know that others don’t know it is called the privacy quadrant. It is divided into three layers. The bottom layer is called dds. It is the deep and dark secret of deep dark secrets. The middle layer is embarrassing to say. Say, I think this should be a performance of high emotional intelligence.
If you type a song according to your own thoughts, the melody is clear in your mind, but it is very unlikely that others will hear it right away.All if you want to express something to others, you need to tell the other party clearly. Don’t let the other party guess what you think. However, I think it should be divided into situations. You should clearly tell the subordinates or the other party about work arrangements and instructions. If it is the other party’s Mistakes or mistakes caused by low experience and emotional intelligence should be like playing a song, and he needs to understand it himself. Professor Harvard named this phenomenon the Curse of Knowledge.
Fifth, I don’t know that others know that it’s called the Blind Spot Quadrant. This requires listening to the truth from friends or close people, or knowing it from people who have opinions and prejudice against you, and then analyze it, and change it if there is one. If you don't have it, you will be encouraged.
02 The prejudiced perspective is where the communication barrier lies
The only barrier to recognition between different people is cognition. Know the unity. If we always want everyone to recognize ourselves, it is a manifestation of low cognition.
Guo Degang said that the debate between experts and laymen is the layman. For example, I said to a rocket scientist that your rocket is not good and the fuel is not good. I think you have to burn firewood, preferably coal, and you have to choose and clean coal , Washing coal is not good. If the scientist looks at me with a straight eye, then he loses.
Everyone's growth environment is different, and the cognitive concepts they form are also very different. Just like some buildings we saw in a yard when we were young, they felt very tall at the time. If we never see this building again, we will keep what we saw at that time in our memory. Heard.
At this time, someone told us that the building we were talking about was not that tall. He gave feedback from the present perspective, and we will immediately refute it. Because this building has always existed in our original memory, but we have ignored the issue of our own perspective.
If we go back to the courtyard at that time,Looking at the building again from the current perspective, we will find that the building is actually not that tall. Because the different perspectives are an important reason for both sides to stick to their own opinions.
What we observe through our eyes is not necessarily the truth of things. This is closely related to our perspective and cognition. Just like when we see a stranger with a very obvious scar on his face, the first impression on us will be very bad, and even a very defensive mentality.
But if you tell us that this is a people's policeman who was injured in a heroic fight with a gangster, would we feel guilty for our previous prejudices? When we see this brave policeman again, will the defensive psychology that we used to look at with tinted glasses disappear?
This is the prejudiced perspective caused by our cognitive deficits. Recently, a song ridiculing this phenomenon has been circulating on the Internet. I was afraid of ghosts, but they didn't hurt me anymore. I'm not afraid of people, but I'm hurt all over my body.
There are many things in the world, there is no standard answer, please pay attention to the diversity of people, the diversity of things, do not take any standards, impose on others. The more we know, the more we will find ourselves insignificant. When I was young, I always felt that I was very important. The people around me revolved around me. I never thought about how small I am relative to this world.
03 Recognize yourself and communicate without hindrance
When we rely on the protection of our parents, we still will not find ourselves small. Only when we truly face the world alone will we find that the world is really not so friendly. What we think is very important, relative to others, may not be as important as the one hundred dollars they lost.
In this world, not so many people care about us, only we care about ourselves. Empathy is a comforting rhetoric,We just accept it, don't think about empathy.
For the self who happened, others may turn their heads and forget everything and devote themselves to their own lives. No one will pay attention to things that have no interest in them. It is not human indifference, but the law of survival.
There are more and more yesterday, and less and less tomorrow. Whether it is happy or sad, accepting it is counterproductive. What traps us is not the matter itself, but our heart. Tell yourself about grief. Those who can survive are those who are willing to get better.
We can only understand the essence of communication if we understand it first. Communication does not impose our own thinking on others. Human nature is common. We cannot understand others. The most fundamental reason is that we do not understand ourselves. Doing to others what you don't want to do to others means that when we ask others, think about our willingness to accept such things?
If you have to accept such things, what can you do to make yourself willing? All the answers we want can be found from ourselves. Because this world does not belong to the rich, nor does it belong to the wise, but to the hearted people. Communicate with your heart, and you will always have it.
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