Life is a practice: life is hard, only self-reliance

I was born as a human, I'm sorry.

This is what Songzi said to himself during his lifetime. It can be said that Songzi's life is a failure in capitals.

Even though she can do all kinds of work, when it comes to relationships, whether it is love or family relationship, she will always be the one who is injured. What's more sad is that when she woke up and prepared to treat herself kindly, her life came to an abrupt end.

After reading Yamada Soki 's " The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nuts ", I couldn't let it go for a long time. Why does the writer no longer give Songzi a chance to re-behave? Later, it was only by accident that I realized that there is no turning back in life, and which ending is not always the path of my own choice?

In fact, in this world, the only people who can help us are ourselves.

is like in "Mr. Toad Going to See the Heron", under the guidance of the brave man Explore the heart, gradually get out of life’s difficulties, and regain confidence and hope.

Crying is also a kind of release and relief

Mr. Toad is a talking, laughing, and playful.An adventurous gentleman. But one day, it suddenly felt that it was not good anymore, it became sloppy and depressed.

Fortunately, it has a group of friends who care about him. Under their strong request, Mr. Toad went to see the psychologist Heron, and everything changed so quietly.

Mr. Toad’s life status is like Zhang Ailing said that life is a gorgeous robe covered with lice.

And Mr. Toad can't escape this curse either. Mr. Toad has an ancestral family business, a luxurious villa, and the identity of a school manager. In the eyes of others, it is a model of success, but it is still unhappy.

Mr. Toad also questioned himself: What have I done in my life? What happened to me again? No one can talk to it, and others will accuse it of hypocrisy after hearing it. In order to be a veritable gentleman, it can only choose to shut up.

Think about ourselves, why haven't we had this kind of experience, when we were sad or angry, when we were sad or angry, we obviously had tears in our eyes, but we still had to hold back, saying that it didn't matter to me.

In fact, this kind of clumsy acting and strong performance will not get the slightest distress from others, but will also suffocate internal injuries in my heart.Over time, it may even develop feelings of disgust.

Dr. Heron told Toad that crying is actually a way of release and a way to better understand yourself. At this time, you need to connect with your own emotions and understand these emotions.

If you deny your emotions and choose to ignore or suppress it, the result is like an amputation, as if you have become a disabled person to some extent.

That is to say, when we look directly into our hearts and accept our own feelings, then we are the real ourselves, and this is also the beginning of pleasure.

Therefore, whether you are a man or a woman, you may wish to use crying to release your emotions, which makes it easier to complete self-salvation.

High EQ is not just your happiness

Humans are born with happiness, anger, sadness and fear, etc. The same is true of Mr. Toad in the story. When a friend is angry with it and despise it, although he is angry, he still has to admit that others are right, and only hope that they will like it.

Actually, this kind of behavior like Mr. Toad is very common in life. People think it is a high EQ, and will blindly please and obey others. However, doing so does not necessarily lead to good popularity, and people will only take you even less seriously.It's just that the people trapped in the game still don't know it.

Tracing back to the roots, people do this because they are still continuing their "child self-state." The first thing to note is that this has nothing to do with age.

is instinctive in childhood, human basic emotions are naturally expressed, and they will evolve into more complex behavior patterns due to feedback mechanisms.

These behavioral patterns have become the core of ourselves, integrated into our part, and define our life's behavior. No wonder the saying goes like this, three years old look younger, seven years old look old.

can also be understood in this way. When we are adults, under a certain scene, it will stimulate us to make the same reaction as when we were young.

Under the enlightenment of the heron, Mr. Toad found the root of his low self-esteem and flattering personality. The root cause is that it has a successful and very demanding father, and it has never shown kindness to toads. And its mother is obedient to her husband and follows her husband's view of childcare.

Under such cold tutoring, in order to get praise and attention, Mr. Toad obeyed and pleased from elementary school. Even in adulthood, it can't get rid of the background of inferiority complex. When getting along with others, it completely restores its mode of getting along with the original family.

It’s worth saying thatThis has nothing to do with high emotional intelligence, just a bottomless sacrifice. As long as the other party is good, it doesn't matter to yourself.

But people are not tools, and the self-consciousness from the heart will not disappear because of being ignored. They will accumulate to form a force to counter the emotional master.

Active change is the real awakening

Anything we do can be divided into two types, one is our inner desire, so we will take the initiative; I don't like it, but I was forced to do it under pressure.

Mr. Toad was forced to visit the psychiatrist Heron when it was about to collapse. Toad has asked painfully many times, will he be okay?

Dr. Heron stated that if it is not from the heart, it cannot bring about new changes. Because only by taking the initiative to change, is the real awakening.

It is not often said that you cannot wake up a person who pretends to sleep. It is not a desire from the heart, passion will soon be burned out.

It’s just that most people in reality rely on others and are in a state of waiting to be arranged.

and the essence of growth,It is to reduce and eventually break such dependencies. Although the process of stripping is painful, this is the birth of a new life. It's like a chicken out of its shell, full of joy in this world.

Finally, after Mr. Toad has been treated for ten times, it has gradually become clear about the truth: it must be done only by itself. It's better to "grow up" quickly and learn to act in a rational rather than emotional way.

Summary

Life is a practice, and everyone is moving forward with the same step. No matter what script destiny gives us, we can only be our own masters, not emotional slaves.

Dr. Heron said: No one can hurt you unless it is your choice. Because life is just a practice, all worldly sufferings need to be overcome by oneself.

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