[Rose] Do you often do this: when you send a message to someone, and they don’t reply in time, you will think about it for a long time, and your mind is chattering endlessly wondering what the other person is thinking and what happened; when faced with what is about to be done, y

[Rose]

Do you often do this:

When you send messages to others, and they don’t reply in time, you will think about it for a long time, and your mind is chattering endlessly, wondering what the other person is thinking and what happened;

Faced with what is about to be done. Before the results of something happen, you become worried and imagine several bad outcomes. You are so worried that you can't sleep all night long;

Someone else's action, expression or casual words will stir up emotions in your heart. I can't help but wonder if he hates me and whether I have done something wrong;

I like to compare myself with others, feel that I am not good at anything, have low self-esteem, and self-doubt, and then I will feel jealous;

strives for perfection in what they do, but sometimes their ideas are too idealistic and cannot be realized, which makes them feel depressed and crazy;

loves fantasy, imagining how to become rich and beautiful, and has a lot of ideas in his mind, trying to make them happen Stop, but can't do it no matter what;

Seeing the gap between myself and my peers getting bigger and bigger, I feel very anxious and envious. I am anxious to do something to narrow the gap, but I don't know what to do. There is no direction. Even if you have a direction, you feel tired before you even start;

You will regret and ponder over and over again in a few years for a bad thing;

The embarrassing things that happened a few years ago are still repeated now.

I made a plan a few years ago, but now I am still hesitating whether to do it or not. I keep putting it off, pulling it over and over in my heart, looking forward and backward, and unable to make a decision;

This kind of endless entanglement and self-struggle is not What is internal friction? Everyone else is getting involved, but you are getting involved yourself.

In general, the overall manifestations of internal friction are:

01. Overthinking

02. Excessive worry

03. Excessive self-criticism

04. Excessive concern about the evaluation of others

Don’t underestimate this internal friction. Being in internal friction for a long time will bring you many consequences. The damage is definitely beyond your imagination.

The impact of internal friction:

01. Eradicate your enthusiasm and motivation. Unknowingly, you will feel tired, have no interest in doing anything, and are completely out of state.

02. Easily depressed, gradually occupied by negative psychology, looking at things with a pessimistic mood, unable to see the positive side.

03. Falling into meaningless thinking, wasting a lot of time, not doing what should be done, and being inefficient.

04. Gradually, I hate and despise myself, I dare not face my true self, and my mood becomes impetuous and depressed.

05. Interpersonal relationships become bad, and you are gradually excluded and disliked by others, and you become low self-esteem.

06. Gradually become timid and cowardly, and even if they encounter good opportunities, they will miss them.

07. Random thoughts lead to poor sleep, which can lead to physical illness.

It’s not just you, almost everyone has experienced internal friction. Some people noticed it in time and came out, while some people are still struggling inside.

But it took me 3 years to get out of this internal friction. I have all the above manifestations of internal friction, and I paid a heavy price for it.

I started the weight loss plan in 2015 and only started to lose weight in 2020. I lost 10 pounds in 2 months. Originally, I was very confident that I would continue to stick to it.

Later, when I was on a blind date with a boy, he made a bad comment on my image, which was very shocking. From then on, I became very low self-esteem, couldn't recover, and stopped losing weight.

Later, I gained more and more weight, it became more and more difficult to lose weight, and my inferiority complex grew, which in turn led to a series of interpersonal problems and physical problems.

In 2019, I was planning to write and shoot videos for self-media. At that time, I also bought a tripod and material books, but I was always hesitant, afraid that I would not do well or that others would judge me poorly, so I kept delaying. Haven't started yet.

In the end, I threw the tripod at the bottom of the box, and the books I bought were given to the mover when I moved, and he sold them in a sack.

In 2020-2021, I reviewed to take the cost engineer certificate. However, the week before the exam, I had no time to review because I was too busy with work. I thought I would fail the exam, so I gave up on the exam.

To be honest, these experiences are indelible pain in my heart. I am typing in front of the screen, but I really want to cry, cry loudly.

I want to cry because if I could have noticed this internal friction earlier and stepped out in time, maybe my life would be different now...

Fortunately, I know it is not too late to notice the "invisible killer" of internal friction. I can save myself.

After I got out of internal conflict, I started to make plans every day and complete them seriously every day. Now I started to get up early, go to bed early, do exam questions, read literary works... Gradually, I developed a habit. Sometimes I don't get used to it if I don't do it.

began to consciously collect writing materials, watch variety shows and TV, and has developed the habit of watching and jotting down.

is much more cheerful and can deal with other people’s jokes at any time. I became more confident and started trying different dressing styles.

I have become courageous, dare to express myself in front of others, and can host a reading club for dozens of people...

Facts have proved that after I got rid of internal friction, everything went smoothly for me.

How to get out of internal friction, believe it or not, as long as you can do the following 3 points, regardless of other things, you will be invincible.

01. Accept yourself

This is really important. I dare say that at least 70% of people have ignored this. Many people hide their shortcomings deep in their hearts. When others mention them, they become angry and make harsh remarks.

Every good thing starts with accepting yourself and admitting your own shortcomings. There is actually nothing to be ashamed of.

Wherever I went, someone would always say, "You look like a friend of mine." I was very angry when I heard that. I felt that they were calling me a public face in disguise, and I felt offended, so I just rolled my eyes. Opposing each other makes others very embarrassed.

Later, I calmly accepted anyone’s evaluation and my own shortcomings. I was the face of the public, so what, it was no big deal.

Later, when someone said to me that I looked like so-and-so, I responded jokingly: "Yes, that friend of yours is me, hahahahaha." The other person was also amused by me.

In fact, accepting yourself can reduce many contradictions and conflicts. At the same time, you will not feel tired and internalized in order to cover up your shortcomings.

02. Mind your own business

If doing something is not good for yourself and others, you only need to distinguish two things, one is other people's business, and the other is your own business. Never take it upon yourself to take other people's affairs as your own, to manage and evaluate them.

For example, if your colleague or friend is a vegetarian, and you yourself eat meat, you always try to educate others about whether it is wrong or bad to be vegetarian. This is extremely bad. In fact, it is causing hatred for yourself.

For another example, if someone else is better at work than you, is better than you, has higher education than you, is prettier than you, etc., you will feel jealous and have a sense of crisis, but you can't do it yourself and you are looking forward to her all day long. Some bad shortcomings appear to comfort yourself.

To be honest, it has nothing to do with you whether others are vegetarians, beautiful, or doing whatever they want. Whether others are good or not will not change your life at all. If you think too much about other people's affairs, you will only continue to be internally consumed. All you have to do is respect other people's habits.

At the same time, you don’t have to care when you receive bad comments from others. You just need to do your own thing well, stay away from him and don’t even give him a look. Naturally, he will not bother you anymore.

If you care about other people's opinions, you will be very angry when others give you a slightly bad evaluation. If you don't let out the anger, you will become sulky and internally consumed.

When something benefits yourself and others, don’t be stingy with your efforts within a reasonable range.

For example, if someone has a problem and asks you for help, you can help them at this time, because helping others is actually self-interested and altruistic. It can not only fill you with positive energy, but also build a good relationship with others.

So, mind your own business, let others deal with what others say and do, and don't worry about it.

03. Focus on one thing

Find one thing to do. If you like to fantasize and think nonsense, in fact, you are too idle.

What are you looking for? You can decide according to your own conditions.

For example:

If you like growing flowers and cooking, you can share your experience of growing flowers and cooking;

If you like reading, then share your reading list with others;

You can also learn and try a language yourself, such as Thai or Spanish. , English...

There is really no such thing. You can always run, and it is also good to share your own running process

If you insist on doing one thing for a long time, you will not have those messy thoughts in your mind, and you will find that you You will enjoy this process more and more, and gradually you will become more and more focused and confident.

and above are all what I am doing, and the results are good. Give it a try, and I believe you will be able to get rid of internal friction.

Highlights from the past:

After staying away from those "toxic" friends, my life has become messy

Do you want to play with your mobile phone halfway through studying? 3 ways to teach you how to get rid of this problem

From confusion to self-discipline, I did these things right

Author introduction:

A post-90s girl, a lifelong learning practitioner, learns to change herself every day, and shares inner growth | Cognition Information related to improvement, the so-called wisdom, no worries, let’s work hard together ~