谈什么恋爱呢，图他年纪大，图他不洗澡吗？
What kind of love do you have? He's old. Does he not take a bath?
去年就说要剁的手你们都剁了吗？
Did you chop all the hands you said you wanted to chop last year?
所谓英雄不问出路，光棍不看岁数。
The so-called hero does not ask the way out, the bachelor does not see the age.
只要能用钱解决的问题，我一件都解决不了。
As long as I can solve problems with money, I can't solve any of them.
揣着一口袋的开心满载而归。
Carry a bag of happiness and return.
为什么有人喜欢你，你却依然单身。
Why are you still single when someone likes you.
过完双十一，我们一起吃土吧。
After double 11, let's eat earth together.
这么冷的天，光棍已经升级成为了冰棍。
On such a cold day, singles have been upgraded to popsicles.
我啥都不缺，缺个清空购物车的男友。
I don't want anything. I need a boyfriend who empties the shopping cart.
不就是一个普通的周三嘛！
Isn't it a normal Wednesday!
