談什麼戀愛呢，圖他年紀大，圖他不洗澡嗎？
What kind of love do you have? He's old. Does he not take a bath?
去年就說要剁的手你們都剁了嗎？
Did you chop all the hands you said you wanted to chop last year?
所謂英雄不問出路，光棍不看歲數。
The so-called hero does not ask the way out, the bachelor does not see the age.
只要能用錢解決的問題，我一件都解決不了。
As long as I can solve problems with money, I can't solve any of them.
揣着一口袋的開心滿載而歸。
Carry a bag of happiness and return.
為什麼有人喜歡你，你卻依然單身。
Why are you still single when someone likes you.
過完雙十一，我們一起吃土吧。
After double 11, let's eat earth together.
這麼冷的天，光棍已經升級成為了冰棍。
On such a cold day, singles have been upgraded to popsicles.
我啥都不缺，缺個清空購物車的男友。
I don't want anything. I need a boyfriend who empties the shopping cart.
不就是一個普通的周三嘛！
Isn't it a normal Wednesday!
