The Chinese nation has highly respected the word "loyalty and filial piety" since ancient times. For thousands of years, people have regarded "loyalty and filial piety" as nature, and even as a sign of distinguishing between humans and animals. "Hundreds of virtues and filial piety first" has also become the code of conduct for every Chinese. In the process of filial piety, have you ever thought about whether you are really filial piety, or are you afraid not to filial piety, and who is your filial piety shown to? ? Yourself, parents, relatives, friends, neighbors? Senior system arranger Liu Zhifeng will lead you to reveal what true filial piety is!
一. 孝之始也
my country has a history of 5,000 years of civilization, and the idea of "filial piety" culture still has practical significance in today's society. As early as thousands of years ago, Confucius, a famous educator in China, said: "If the body is skinned, it is the beginning of filial piety to be damaged by parents." Cherishing life and cherishing the body is the beginning of filial piety to parents. Whoever rejects life, It is also rejecting the parents, and it is very likely to condemn the parents.
Uncle Meng Wu asked filial piety, and the son said: "Parents are only concerned about their illness." Think about the fright and fear of our sick parents. How can we not care about our bodies.
"Stay on the way, make a name for future generations, to show your parents, and end your filial piety." Surpassing parents, honoring parents' faces, and setting an example for future generations is the fulfillment of filial piety.
Zi Xia asked Xiao. The son said: ‘Looking is difficult. Some disciples serve their work, and Mr. Jiu Shi serves as a delicacy. Do you think you are filial? "In front of parents, it’s difficult to look happy all the time. When there are things, young people can help them, and if they have food and drink, let their elders eat. Is that filial? What I'm talking about here is the difference between reluctance and heartfelt, filial piety is not Superficial articles, but actual actions born from the heart, the important thing is to have acceptance and respect in the heart. Confucius said: "Today's filial person is capable of nurturing. As for dogs and horses, they can be raised; why are they disrespectful? "If you don’t have respect, but just provide for the elderly, it’s no different from raising dogs and horses.
Mencius said: "There are three people who are unfilial: it means that Ayi is not righteous, and it is not filial." If parents ask their children If the child agrees to a divorce, who will the neighbors judge? If you follow this understanding to blindly obey your parents, the parents will let them make mistakes, and they will fall into injustice, which is completely consistent with modern thinking. What should parents do if they are wrong? Like "Zhou Ji satirizes the King of Qi, we must be careful when giving advice to leaders. We need to consider order and the relationship between superiority and inferiority, and we should give our parents advice "family, admonishment, pleasant and soft voice". Yes, if parents lose their temper, it’s right to "receive with a small stick, and go with a big stick"; "the family is poor and the relatives are old, not for the elders, nor for the filial piety", the family is poor, and the elderly parents are at home, but oneself It is the second unfilial piety not to be an official, not to work and earn money to support a family. Parents hope that their children will be successful! "Don’t marry childless, never ancestors, three unfilial piety", not a family, cutting off offspring is the biggest unfilial piety. , Here it is explained that the inheritance of life is the most important, and it is the responsibility of every life. If life is not inherited, wouldn’t mankind perish?
二、孝之just also
The biggest obstacle to filial piety—— Afraid of unfilial piety. In ancient times, people moved back to their homeland and were very concerned about the evaluations of people around them in a closed life circle. The spit stars can drown people, and they can accumulate money and destroy bones. They are especially concerned about the evaluation of others and are afraid that they will be unfilial. Men are most afraid of others saying "marry a daughter-in-law and forget her mother", and women are most afraid of others saying "water thrown by a married girl." Afraid of others saying that they are not filial, they will be especially in unexpected rituals or evaluations, and will deliberately preserve Even gaining face. There may be no respect or even resentment in the heart, but they will use perfect rituals and rich materials to repay their parents against their will. Even if they suffer more, they must do it. Behind it, they may be resenting their parents. How you treated me back then depends on how I treated you.
The standard of filial piety is the biggest obstacle to the action of filial piety. For example, in the case of “cutting stocks to do something to relatives”, it is said that if parents are seriously ill, children, daughters and daughters If you cut off the meat from your thighs and boil it for the patient to eat, it will have a magical medicinal effect. According to the statistics of the Ming and Qing Dynasties in the "She County Chronicles" of the Republic of China, only this county has cut thighs, arms, breasts, and nails to treat relatives. There are 162 people. Regardless of the fact that "parents only worry about their illness", parents see that their children hurt their bodies because of their own shares, and their heartsIs it distressed or guilty. Let’s guess that many people here must have given sincerely, and it is not ruled out that some people are "wisdom, there are great hypocrites" who have exploited the standard loopholes, in order to win the good name of "filial piety", just like in the past. "It's popular, and some people are desperately filial. Washing parents' feet is an act of filial piety advocated by many people. The form is very important, but if there is no flow of love, the more forms you do, the more anxiety and complaints will be.
Traditional filial piety also presupposes the rights of some people to others, such as the king to his subjects and parents to their children. This suppresses the psychological development of younger generations, so that children have to follow their parents’ will and even sacrifice for filial piety. My own personality and development have delayed the formation of independent personality. Generations have revolved around the development of parents. It is difficult to innovate and advance. "I have walked more bridges than you have walked." Strong parents will require their children to follow their own Asking to do will suppress the development of children, and the reality that parents are strong and children are weak will appear, which is not conducive to the development and growth of the next generation, and independent thinking and making your own choices are the most basic needs of becoming an independent person.
"Father is kind and filial to the child, doing the best and lowering the effect", a good relationship is created by both parties. The traditional filial piety emphasizes the filial piety of the child and the next generation's contribution to the previous generation, but there are few useful teachings on how parents do Many practices ignore their own responsibilities, and require children to not only support materially, but also to be responsible for their parents spiritually (it is difficult to make parents happy for children, and this is not the child's responsibility). For example, the "Winter Warm and Summer Clear" in the disciples rules overemphasizes the children's contribution to their parents, and the love of life is flowing upward, which is not conducive to the inheritance of life. Some filial piety also grabbed their children by their side and controlled them. If a child sacrifices himself and does what his parents require, he will be angry internally. If he does not do what his parents require, he will feel guilty in his heart. For example, the mother of actor Zhu Yuchen prevents the child from being able to be himself well, and his life is stagnant and unable to flow. Growth cannot advance.
"Filial piety" should be the flow of natural emotions between creatures, and slowly evolved into a political tool for feudal rulers. At home, filial piety is to go out to be loyal to the emperor. The father wants his son to die, and the son has to die for filial piety. The ruler wants the minister to die, the minister has to die, to be loyal, if the father let the son die, it would violate human nature. Filial piety slowly evolved into a moral code. Morality is used to demand oneself and restrain oneself. It is not to demand, judge, or command others. At first, the emperor called himself a widow, that is, I was a man of low morals and needed everyone to point out my shortcomings. Now we often do the opposite, using morality as a weapon, accusing others of being unfilial and emphasizing that children should be grateful. This deviates from the Confucian tradition of "a gentleman seeks himself and a villain seeks others". If you don’t pay attention, you will fall into moral kidnapping. For example, Wu Jing’s "Wolf Warriors" has become popular and made a lot of money. He thinks that Wu Jing’s donations are too small; he is forced to give up his seat on the train; phenomenon.
External rituals or evaluations, which become an obstacle for people to reach true filial piety. Looking back at the 24 filial piety that has been handed down: burying children and giving birth to mothers, cutting stocks to treat their parents, carving woods, fan pillows warming quilts, lying on the ice for carp, and mosquitoes full of blood are all individual examples. They have been used for thousands of years. Enlightenment readings, rigid dogma and rules will conceal the truth in the heart, and even cultivate hypocrites who sacrifice themselves to achieve a certain goal. This also made the treatment of Confucian representative Confucius, from the amiable and respectable old man in the Spring and Autumn Period to the later saint and teacher of all ages, to being pulled down from the altar during the Republic of China, to the cannibal ethics, to defeat Kong's second child. Just as Mencius said, "Old and old, young and young, and young and young." Respecting the old and loving the young is the instinctive emotional flow of people, filial piety is heartfelt, and without inner respect, no matter how much you give, it must not be The filial piety advocated by the saint Confucius!
3. Xiao Zhiben also
System arrangement and even the core relationship of psychology: the relationship between children and parents. The relationship between children and parents is the model of all relationships in the world. The unprocessed parts of us and our parents will not disappear automatically, and will become a template for our future relationships. The source of all relationships comes from accepting your parents.
Wang Fengyi mentioned that filial piety has four realms of "body, mind, mind, and ambition": people in the physical realm only know food and clothing, and they think that giving their parents food and clothing is filial piety, which is filial piety. People in the heart world know what people want, so they take obedience as their filial piety, which is filial piety. People in both physical and mental realms miss people so much, and think of their parents as their filial piety.Knowing about one's relatives without thinking about the way can increase the sins of parents. If your heart is uneasy, how can the heart of the elderly be at ease? People in the Italian world take pleasure as their main purpose, so they make the elderly happy as their filial piety. People in the world of ambitions are free from formalities and have the ambitions of their parents, so that the elderly can feel at ease and not worry about them. This is filial piety and true filial piety.
Taking care of your parents through career and marriage is a false filial son who is filial to your parents. It is great filial piety to give up filial piety and seek great filial piety. Don’t persist in being a perfect filial son. You have to bear the uncomfortable things that can’t change your parents, and face the parents who are not in good health and have to smoke and drink. Isn’t it more humane to respect and allow them? The perfect complex will bring pressure to others, and you can make some mistakes to be forgiven by your parents. This is also a manifestation of filial piety.
Do you have to consider your own needs or the needs of your parents? So, give parents what they need instead of what they own. Some people do not consider whether their parents are comfortable or not, and take their parents who are accustomed to thrifty labor to buy mink coats in the city, just to make their face beautiful and comfortable.
The core of filial piety is: respect. What parents need is not the superficial filial piety of their children, but the true respect in their hearts. "Hundreds of good filial piety is the first, regardless of the heart, no matter what you do, and there is no filial son in the poor." Filial piety has nothing to do with material things. The emperor and even the common people can do it. So Xiaozhong respected in his heart. With inner respect, the image of parents in their hearts is tall, which can achieve the systematic arrangement that often emphasizes that parents are big and children are small.
In short, the greatest filial piety is not to give back to your parents but to live your life well. To live well is the greatest filial piety to your parents.
Accepting parents in this way, as they are, this is filial piety.
It is filial piety to respect the decision of parents and accept their destiny.
Respect the relationship between parents, not participating in it is filial piety.
Accepting love from parents in the way they think love is filial piety.
It is filial piety to agree to their parents’ departure and accept their parents’ death.
Cherish your life, enrich your life, inherit life, is filial piety.
When parents need it, what they can give to their parents is filial piety.
To be filial, to overcome the delusion of saving your parents,
To be filial, to truly put the feelings and needs of your parents at the forefront,
To be filial, to break through the views of others For my own face,
is not because I think that filial piety can be achieved, nor is it because my parents think.
To be filial, to have wisdom and courage.
