Text/Good Pregnancy Sister
After ten months of pregnancy, once the baby is delivered, when the pregnant mother successfully gives birth to the child, the reaction of most of the husband's family will definitely be happy.
But life is unpredictable, and the large intestine wraps around the small intestine. In some families, whether it is due to the preference for sons over daughters, or the conflicts that have accumulated in the past, they have no joy at all, or even indifference to the arrival of new life.
Since my old lady prefers to watch mediation programs, I was forced to watch a lot of them. I remember one time when my daughter-in-law gave birth to a boy in the first year of marriage. This was originally a happy event.
But the attitude of the husband's family was very strange. They repeatedly said that the child was not their grandson. Especially the mother-in-law, a few days after her grandson was born, she told her daughter-in-law, "The child belongs to you and your mother, not our family."
Later, in order to completely draw a line between him and his grandson, he even said bluntly, "This is not my grandson. I don't want to take him. I didn't see who you gave birth to. Who knows who you gave birth to outside."
If this blame is thrown away, no matter who it is, everyone will be angry. The daughter-in-law immediately called her husband to find out why she was treating herself and her children this way.
As a result, the man silenced his wife with one sentence: "Whatever my mother says is whatever she says."
The daughter-in-law was completely confused now. After all, she had done nothing wrong. While she was depressed, she suddenly remembered an agreement she made with her husband's family before marriage: after the first child was born, he would take the woman's surname.
Since her husband agreed at the time, she didn’t take it to heart. But now by linking up the causes and consequences, it can probably explain why the husband's family keeps saying that the child is not theirs.
The man disagreed with his wife's speculation. In his opinion, parents fully accept that their children will take the woman's surname.
It’s just that the mother hopes that the cost of raising the child will be borne by both families. In his opinion, this request is not excessive, but his wife is too sensitive.
Tsk tsk, it’s obviously my grandson, why do I have to bear the cost of raising it together with my in-laws? After all, I still feel that if the grandson takes the woman's surname, he is no longer a member of his family.
So here comes the problem. Since the child is biological, it stands to reason that no matter whose surname he has, he will always be the treasure of the whole family.
But why do some people always argue over their children’s surnames, or even treat their children with different surnames because they don’t have their own surnames?
This is because, in the minds of many people, a surname is not just a simple code name, but carries multiple meanings such as inheritance of family and property.
Especially in some places where clan consciousness is strong, the surname is even an important symbol to continue the blood line. If the child does not have the same surname as his in-laws, in their view, he is not qualified to be included in the family tree.
In other words, the right to surname is essentially a sense of ritual passed down from generation to generation. When a child takes his or her surname, it signifies that the family is being passed down.
If the woman gives birth to a second child and the second child takes her husband’s surname, will the problem mentioned above be solved?
In fact, with the opening up of the two-child and three-child policy, some families do let a child take the mother's surname.
But if your family values the inheritance of your surname, you really can’t force it. Otherwise, there are bound to be many disadvantages if the two children have different surnames.
Let’s not mention the embarrassment the child encounters every time he is asked by outsiders, “Why don’t you take your father’s last name? Are you not your biological child?” Just the differential treatment of the elderly at home is enough to make them sad.
Although we are blood relatives, many of our feelings are acquired. If an elderly person feels that a child with the mother's surname is not his or her family, this psychological gap will definitely show up in daily life. Although they don't say it, they will prefer the child with their own surname.
